...wanted for Xmas. Any ideas?

Ask Santa for a partnership in a big consulting firm.

That's a great idea - any tips who are the biggest mugs around who'd fall for that...?

Forget the partnership, all you need from santa is a simple letter. A letter informing you that a great aunt whom you met and charmed when you were 4 months old has sadly passed away.On the plus side she has passed her entire estate, consisting of several squares in chelsea, a luxurious villa complex in the caribbean and a controlling stake in the east-west oil pipeline, onto you.

Welfare benefits recipient

Reply to a Nigerian email stating that they are the relatives of a dead dictator and need your bank account to transfer 100 of millions of dollars of stolen loot out of an African account.Provide them with you bank account and tranfer-supporting funds for 10% cut of the loot after the transfer is concluded.Wham, you are a millionaire!

Great idea, and what perfect timing - I have just received such an email from the nephew of the late President Mustafa Bagaloot asking me to do just that. On your advice I shall reply immediately - a life of luxury awaits...