Hi all,I am in a spot (atleast that's what I would like to believe). 4 months back I received an offer from this small consulting firm - solid reputation, good role and good pay - and was very pleased. But I wanted an earlier joining date which they did not agree on. I received the contract docs but did not sign and send them back coz I did not want to be 'locked out' of the market. Soon enough, I got an offer from a Big 4 firm - better role, much higher pay - and have accepted their offer formally (contract signed and sent). Now, I have two options - 1) Just relax and wait out the joining date of the first firm (I feel this might irritate them coz they are under the impression I will send in the papers anytime soon) or 2) Call/ e-mail the first firm and inform them politely that I will not be joining. I do not want to burn bridges with the earlier firm as they are still one of my dream employers and I would like to keep my options open in future. Any thoughts??

How can you not accept an offer from one of your dream employers and choose to join Big4 ? How much was/is the pay difference (20+ %) and what is the gap between join dates (3+ months) ?To answer your question; delaying your communication is never going to be an improvement for any relation.

How is 1) even an option? Hugely unprofessional and you'd never have another chance of joining the first firm again.Your two options are,1) suck it up and inform the first firm what has happened (you'll need a better reason than above)2) Send in the paperwork to the first firm and join them as expected, notifying Big 4 that you won't be joining them. It doesn't matter that you've sent the paperwork for the Big 4 company and, as dutchconsultant states, it sounds like you're making a mistake at the moment.

An easy way to avoid buring bridges - now and later in your career - is show a little bl**dy integrity. At the very least inform the first firm - your 'dream firm' as you call them - of your decision to go to Big 4; frankly I think you don't have a choice - if the first was really a 'dream firm' the extra pay wouldn't swing it. And you delayed signing that contract yet signed the Big 4 one straight off and returned it so accept that - in reality - money talks and you have burned your bridges with the other one.

Thanks very much for your replies dutchconsultant, Mars and what :-)Yeah, I realised it somewhere down the line that the first option probably doesn't even exist (but still the little red guy with horns kept it up inside my head). Well, the money is really the driver here...difference being 25%+ (without even accounting for bonus). But, I agree I will need to inform the first firm of my decision. So which is the best way to go...phone or e-mail...do you think an e-mail could serve as a record for HR and jeopardise future opportunities (if any) or am I just being too careful??

Email or phone them - makes no real difference. You have made your choice so go with it; when you come to look at the market again everything will be different and what looks like a dream firm now won't look so suitable in a few years with more experience and networks under your belt.

Thanks very much again. Think I know what to do ...feel much better now!!

Why do you feel you owe "dream firm" anything? They made you an offer, that's all. You get to chose whether or not to accept it.You made a counter offer (to have an earlier start date), which they refused. I don't think you are letting them down by going elsewhere.MaD, why do you think s/he has burned her bridges?I would just phone "dream firm" and tell them the truth. That gives them the opportunity to up their pay offer, but if not, walk away.Its a job MARKET afterall.Good luck!

Small firms often have more 'memory' than large ones, hence often declining an offer with a small firm burns bridges (but only with that small firm, and should the hiring manager move to a larger one, they soon forget their grudges and noses being put out of joint as the pressures of hiring for projects takes over).