I've recently started to feel hugely attracted to someone who has joined my project team - I have to work with them very closely, and this is making me feel hugely distracted. I'm not sure if they like me too - we're both in relationships. I need to handle this so that it doesn't get in the way of work, any tips on how best to deal with this?

Try some Evening Primrose Oil?

Cold shower in the morning and remind yourself that you are at work

Rachel, It's interesting that you talk about 'them', not 'him', can I ask if it is a guy, because if affects the answer to your question? The next point, especially as you are both already in relationships, is not to do anything in front of the team/at work, people will pick up on as little as a smile, and will start questioning your behaviour. This doesn't mean that the two of you can not get closer though, we have several friends (couples) who were having great relationships together in environments that definately wouldn't 'have approved', and in both cases the first most colleagues knew about it was when they announced they were getting together! Also, do you have a friend at work you can confide in, it can be a big help?

at last a sensible reply! it is a guy, and whilst this may seem basic, it's new to me after being in a relationship for quite a long time.anyway, your tip about confiding in someone is a good one and i think i might do this, thanks

Don't crap on your own doorstep

This really is quite a 13-years-old-and-dot-my-'i's-with-little-love-hearts thread... maybe there is an agony aunt in some teenagers' magazine who might more help?

As a bloke, I'm fascinated that this thread and the one re women's suits have generated responses from self-appointed forum guardians.Rachel - it's very unlikely that your responses to romance will have changed since you went into your current relationship. Are you likely to be able to cope with a close friendship at work and not let this destroy your home life? If you are, enjoy the work chemistry and move on when you're bored.If you know, for example, that you personally can only have "serious" relationships, you need to decide whether this work relationship might be better for you than your current one. If not, make your excuses and leave - either get a transfer or set your limits. Don't get involved in team social events and keep yourself to yourself.Overall, it may be worth remembering that these are your choices - you've identified the issue early on and have the wherewithal to direct your own responses.Good luck!

Hi RachelIf he turns you down, let me know and we can get it on. You sound like a bit of a girl.Much loveStud

ho ho ho

Good grief this is overcooked! Rachel if you fancy the guy get on with it; leave all the Mills and Boon cr@p for later, and please don't bore everyone senseless with the whole 'does he really like me?' bs. Take him out for a drink, make a move. Shag like bunnies, break up, hate each other, move on and repeat ad nauseum.

People can be very harsh - relationships at work are a strange situation, and can propel you into the murky world of company politics quicker than you can slip one in.I have a massive crush on a girl that I work very closely with, and wouldn't be surprised if she feels similar, but it's a small company and I'm not willing to take the risk of ruining a great working relationship (possibly helped by the slight tension). It would also change 'our' relationship with colleagues, and possibly make them feel uncomfortable in such a tight environment.In a larger company however, you have free reign to do how you please and move on if things do start getting serious (don't work with a partner - bad, bad move!)Anyway, best of luck.

Ouch, are you crazy?? If you like her and she likes you, go for it! Doesn't come along every day...Having said that, you don't say if you're attached or not...

both single, but it is a very small office...