What are your Top 10 Tips for interviews?

Upon entering the room and seeing that your interviewer is black man, don't ever say "Wassup ma n!gger!". In my defence, he seemed to take it well but the interview sort of went downhill from there...

Do not change your clothes in dump room in building where your potential employer can spot you with his house cameras - no joke! This happened recently...

Wooha - I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about, but am intrigued and amused nonetheless. Please explain in more detail!I love a bit of sordid stupidity on a Wednesday afternoon.

Pretend you`re a giant panda by giving yourself two black eyes, eating only bamboo shoots and refusing to have xes with the missus.Save a fortune on laundry bills. Give your dirty shirts to Oxfam. Theywill wash and iron them and you can buy them back for fifty pence.

Thank your interviewer for coming in and ask them for their CV; read it, hand it back and tell them you will be in touch after you have met with some other people, while you write 'you will never hear from me again' on the whiteboard. If they don't have a whiteboard or at least a flip chart complain loudly about lack of resources and a headache. Show your interviewer out, pointing out their dandruff and interesting personal odour blended from day old BO, Old Spice and Tandoori Chicken sandwiches from the local deli.Relax.