The cat has been going mad recently, scratching furniture, pi55ing everywhere, smeling and generally weird (as in psychological problems). So I locked it in the car boot , drove to the country and threw the damn thing into a field.I think there was a cat thread on here earlier, so lets see how to approach rest of family re: Where is Mr Socks...

Tell the fam that the cat tried it on with you.......licky sucky scratchy...

You sir, are quite the consultant. No shortcuts here I see, just straight solutions. I don't see how that cat will ever be a problem again, atleast not to you, maybe the poor ba$tard who's field you threw it in.

Sirs i thank you for your concern re: the filed/farmer who now owns Mr Socks, or the Rabid animal formerly known as Mr Socks. The family have accepted that Mr Socks was not that well and that we have had an irrevocable difference of opinion (Taxman/Socks) and that with immediate effect Mr Socks has been removed from his position of 'Cat' in the Taxman household.

This seems like a wasted opportunity. Did you look at the options properly?Wouldn't it have made a nice hat / bag / pair of ear warmers?