Being the high roller that i am, I bought a scratchcard this morning, resulting in two figure (£20) windfall! After investing £5.60 in a pack marlboro lights, i'm at a loss. Do I go for go for a bag of haribo and some cakes (risking sugar induced arsing around all afternoon), or open a Northern Rock savings account? Indeed, are these the only options to a man in position??? MC vs IB?? B*llocks more like... the future is scratchcards

I think you should go on ebay and buy my old phone, as the only people that seem to want it at the moment send me pictures of postal orders and ask me to send it to Nigeria.

I cannot believe the stupidity of this post. Surely you should reinvest the money into more scratchcards?

Open a Northern Rock account? Be patient and wait a few days and you'll be able to buy Northern Rock and still have change for one of those dreadful sherbert things.

I know, but what with the credit crunch, falling stock markets, japanese whaling, SARS, Foot and mouth, global warming, Steve Mclaren and similar perils. maybe i should wait till the economy hits bottom, then blow the lot on slot machines and fake tan!

buy 1440 penny chews

Or indeed this:http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/The-Flying-Scotsman-NEW-Cycling-Obree-Broadman_W0QQitemZ200173939330QQihZ010QQcategoryZ2288QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItemBit of a time dependant gag this one...

Great shout!! they do say cycling is the new golf! possibly ok resale value too!

Give it a week or so and you'll be able to use your £14.40 to buy Northern Rock