Consultancy work is in general something most of us here enjoy doing. We like our jobs.I was wondering about how the most senior people here did to balance their lives with their partners and children. It must be very hard. After all (at least in my case) I like my job, but I love my partner. I always feel a bit difficult to balance both. I cant even imagine how hard it will be to do everything when I get kids.How do you do it? Maybe as senior managers / partners u manage to work a tad less?

It is pertinent to asking that question now (while still childless) - take it from me, I wish I had thought more about the work/life balance implications of consulting. Being away from your partner is one thing, but being separated form your kids due to working away from home was/is, for me, gut wrenching to a surprising degree.If I am away on business having a meal in a hotel (for example) and see a young family enjoting their meal, I feel a deep overwhelming yearning to be with my family.I messed up the balance - you are right to begin planning for this.

Spoke to one of our senior guys today who's pulling 12-14hrs, 5 days a week, 100 miles from home. He leaves home just after 5am on a Monday and gets back on a Friday after 10pm.This is unlikely to change over the next couple of months, as a result his girlfriend is threatening to leave and take his child with her.You can aim for a good work/life balance but in this game you can't predict your workload so it's more or less pointless.In say a 30 year career you're likely to encounter periods like this maybe 10 times. Any one of those could cost you your personal life. At some point you have to decide whether it's for you or not. Something has to give and it's usually your family life as they can vote with their feet and leave.Always keep one eye on the outside world, have a Plan B, take action either way rather than letting the situation evolve and then reflecting whistfully as you drown your sorrows in a whirl of whiskey and late nights chasing girls who are far too young for you!Choose life!

Work is a bit like drinking beer. You can drink as much as you want but no one is forcing you to. Self-control is up to you.I set myself a start time and an end time for work and generally stick to it. Of course of there is a genuine crisis I will work late/weekends. However in my experience this is quite rare.Career success is not driven by the number of hours you work. Far more important is delivery of results and knowing the right people.

Thanks for your thoughtful responses. Anon, your answer stroke a cord. I greatly care for my partner. She (sort of) understands my job. I strongly dislike arriving back home tired. Without the strength to cook food with her, too late to walk around the park holding hands or holding a proper conversation. Let's not even get into the making love issue.Life comes back during the weekend.I know that if I had a kid, I would love him/her greatly. Plus, while my partner loves me back, she is an independent woman. Kids need you in that different way.I heard this really ugly comment from a Manager a couple of nights ago. He has a 3 year old kid. He said "After 8-ish it doesnt really matter when I get back home, my kids are already in bed".I over heard a phone talk of another one, a really nice guy, saying "Soup is hot? really? But its yummy isnt it? Mum is such a great cook, I know".It is a strange world.Another issue I was pondering about recently: I thrive on learning new stuff. I really enjoy it. Of course, I can only do it during the weekend. But if I built a family all this will go, of course. One of the senior managers I admire most intellectually, most open to new ideas or new approaches, is not married and has no kids. I wonder if there's a link there or just by chance.

There are two approaches to having (and keeping) a family whilst consulting. It's actually easier to do as you become more senior because people question how you spend your time less, at least openly.1) Go part-time and/or work to family-friendly hours. Find a family-friendly firm and dig in for the long haul. Your colleagues will hate you for rolling up at 11:00 with the excuse that the nanny was late - you just can't get the staff these days. Discipline yourself to turn off your computer and mobile at 17:30 and go home, come what may.2) Continue in your normal work pattern and establish a "long-distance" relationship with your family whereby all interaction is conducted by phone. For the cost of giving your kids mobiles, they'll at least feel some emotional connection to you. Your colleagues will be mildly annoyed when you break off conversation to tell your toddler to eat his greens, and you may not be able to maintain an "iron-balls" image, but the opportunity cost to your career will be lower.

This isn't just a consultancy problem. Unless you work in regimented clock-in/clock-out role you will always have issues around the work-life balance issue. Deal with it. It's an individual choice.It will always boil down to an individual choice to work in a role that demands the 'sacrifice' of long hours without sufficient regard to the realistic management of the implications. Indeed in some cases I would go so far as to suggest that those who immerse themselves to such extreme levels are potentially attempting to escape.

It isn't solely a consultancy problem but is certainly exasperated by the project nature (i.e. tight deadlines) and the very frequent need to travel.Sometimes you can't avoid being away and it can hurt. One thought: Many clients have wireless networks these days so get yourself a Skype kit and find a quiet corner every day at the same time to speak to your kids, they can see you over video link too so much better than a normal call.

Having a family is a long-term programme made of several projects which may include:Partner development and user acceptance testingChild v1Child v2PetYou are the CRM for this programme - implementation can be delegated to Partner v1 if resource constraints allow, or outsourced to Au Pair (an EDS consortium).