My boss seems to have regular mood swings. He's the top dog in this firm so I can't speak to anyone above him. Quite frankly I never know what kind of reaction I'm going to get from him one day to the next. How do I deal with this situation? I fear quitting because I'm worried that the quality of reference I will get will depend on whether the prospective employer catches him on a good day or not. Also, I like the job, it's just the mood swings I can't deal with. He's quite controlling and I can't simply 'avoid' him so to speak.

I've worked with similar. The best option, if you really can't stand his "quirks" is to quit. Odds are, he knows how to behave properly and will do so in front of an external audience - e.g. valuable clients and another firm asking for a reference. He probably has his mood swings or "wears his heart on his sleeve" (to put it euphamistically) within the firm because he knows he's top dog and nobody will challenge him. He might even exaggerate the behaviour because he thinks being unpredictable keeps people on their toes and under his control. He won't risk an employment tribunal by messing around in a formal reference situation.

Yeah, I think he does it as part of an ego boost or something. He seems to get off on exercising control over people. I feel like I'm treading on eggshells all the time.

Have a plate of cookies ready at his desk when he arrives in the morning. Tune the radio into Jazz FM and have it playing softly. Make him a smooth, relaxing cup of Horlicks and stand by him during those stressful periods of the day, gently making sounds of the ocean. This is standard practice at most major consulting firms these days.

C'mon accenture, be helpful!!

Sounds like repressed homosexuality. Provide some literature and numbers for him. That will help.

Niceguy,I have been in this position and its a chance to develop your soft skills further. You can't buy experience like this - seriously.Firstly, I always find that when you are conversing with (or being berated by) somebody in an agitated state, their anger/aggression relies upon the pace of the conversation being maintained. They therefore depend upon you. For that reason, Islow the conversation down - take pauses before you reply, speak relatively slowly. You'll find that when you arrest the pace of the exchange, you make it much harder for them to maintain the same level of anger/aggression. Try it....you'll really take the wind out of their sail....Secondly, if this is more a case of stroppy asides, unpleasant remarks and the like then just rise above it. Easier said then done, but if you make it a matter of personal pride to maintain a professional, calm and unflappable demeanour you will garner respect. Thirdly, get some perspective. He is but one of 6,000,000,000,000+ human beings. He and we inhabit a planet which orbits a star. Said star is one of many. How many? There are a million stars for each grain of sand on this planet.....

I'm making the assumption that this is a small firm, if there is nobody above to go to and you've not faced this kind of thing before then it would appear to be the case.Mood swings themselves aren't something you can do anything about, there are many reasons for them and it's not a debate you want to get into, but I'd endorse the comments above about slowing the pace of dialogue and maintaining control over the escalation.As to the ''quite controlling'' issue, that is something which you could address. Again being a small firm you may not have a particularly robust appraisal system, but you could tie a discussion to that. It needs preparation and probably an appointment to discuss ''the direction your development is going'' and somewhere in the middle of the appraisal process is best.This is how I might approach it, you may prefer other lines to take.Suggest that you feel as if you're not being given latitude to do things and that you feel as if you're being micromanaged. Clearly this would suggest that there is an issue with your performance which he's not happy about. Cognisant that that this has a potential impact on your appraisal then you'd like to address the performance issue up front, plenty of time before the appraisal to improve etc.What you're doing is identifying a ''relationship issue'' but placing the onus on him to find something. If he does find something then be honest with yourself, is it genuine or is it grasping in thin air. Either way you now have a good opportunity to ''address'' it, and it also gives you some leverage come appraisal time.If he doesn't come up with anything then identify where you'd like some latitude and have some discussion around that.You're pushing the boundaries of the relationship so you need to be careful about how far you push them and then how strongly you enforce them afterwards.Other than that, what is it about the job you like and could you find that elsewhere? It is an option to think about.

Thanks guys, I really appreciate this help.I did as it happens try to be a bit proactive about things a while back and requested a 'mentoring/feedback' meeting with him during which we could 'discuss my career development', but it seems to have turned against me. He sadly took control of the initiative and I now receive regular, ongoing criticism as part of a semi-structured programme he's implemented. Whilst this sounds like a productive, well-intentioned kind of activity, it feels more like an ongoing campaign of attack against my self-esteem. There is a grain of truth in most of his feedback, and I do genuinely take this on board, but he offers next to no constructive support and quite frankly I'm starting to feel that he's holding me up to inconsistent, impossibly high standards. It's like he expects me to be a mind reader and do things "his way" before he's even articulated what "his way" is. Given a task, I'll get it done and I'll do a good job, but I'm not just being told what to do, I'm also being slated if I go about things in a way that differs to the idea he has in his head. I'm a thick skinned person, but some of the feedback is getting personal. For instance, he makes conjectures as to what I'm thinking during meetings and how I intend to approach tasks before I've even opened my mouth.Also, sometimes I get the extreme opposite of the above. I'll just be given a task of pretty high importance, and then he won't even spare 5 minutes to talk to me when I request a chat. It's like he just doesn't want to know about it, and I just have to get on with it in a vacuum.