It is helpful to know that some of the greatest success stories in life came about through people who did it themselves, without a coach. So what did they do? I believe that quite simply, without realising it, they became their own coach, and you can do this too.
Why do the best sports stars in the world have coaches? If they are the best what can anybody possibly teach them? The point is, many peak performers understand that a coach serves many functions: to encourage them at times when they are feeling down, to help them look for strategies that will give them the competitive edge that they’ve found in the past and that they know they can recreate in the future; it’s all to help put them in the right frame of mind. A coach’s talent for supporting the athlete, whilst praising them and reinforcing positive images of victory is a crucial factor in enabling them to stay at the top of their chosen profession.
What if you do not feel comfortable with someone being your (life) coach? - it would be a normal reaction for most people. It is helpful to know that some of the greatest success stories in life came about through people who did it themselves, without a coach. So what did they do? I believe that quite simply, without realising it, they became their own coach, and you can do this too. The writer George Adams once stated “There are high spots in all of our lives and most of them have come about through encouragement from someone else”. He recognised that encouragement is vital when you set out on the path towards achieving your goals, whatever they may be. But by offering yourself encouragement you can become your own coach. The following tactics are used in coaching practice:
1. Consciously put into your mind positive images, positive expressions and positive statements that relate to you as a success.
2. If something goes wrong, or you experience failure, say to yourself exactly what you would say to a child you were trying to encourage- don’t beat yourself up, simply learn the lesson and move on.
3. Believe that you are going to succeed, and when you talk to yourself or think through a plan, keep in mind the feeling that success is the outcome.
4. Always be positive, being positve is an attitude. So choose it and use it.
5. No matter how often you encounter a setback, resolve not to give up, just as a parent would encourage a child, or a friend would encourage another, Don’t entertain quitting.
6. Always remind yourself of the benefit that achieving your goal will bring you- when you remember this you will have found your purpose and so to your motivation.
It is what we tell ourselves that enables us to become our own coaches. If you run into difficulties recall not your failures but your past successes, and hold these memories in your mind. Reaffirm your future goal. Get into the habit of thinking positively, praising yourself when you do something well. Encourage yourself by saying ‘Well done! Good!’
Positive affirmations are expressions that allow you to develop and reinforce a positive self-image. They act as triggers to your subconscious mind, helping to strengthen the image of the person you are seeking to become. The French pharmacist and psychotherapist Émile Coué, used to tell his patients to say out loud: ‘Every day in every way I’m getting better and better.’ When he compared these patients post-operatively with other patients who used no such affirmation, he found that his patients did indeed recover much faster than the others.
Think of some affirmations that will work for you. Whatever you choose, keep them simple. They must always be in the first person and relate to a future state that you are moving towards, for instance, “I am becoming healthier now”, “I am actively moving towards my goal now”, “I am becoming calmer every day”. Say them to yourself throughout the day, out loud. And don’t worry about feeling self-conscious – it will be worth it, because it will work. You can often see athletes before a critical moment getting themselves fully prepared. They go through a ritual of settling their nerves and telling themselves “I can do this”, “I’m ready”, “This is the one”. Watch their lips; watch the results.
Imagine you are coaching your best friend, someone you love dearly, who depends on you entirely to help them achieve an ambition. How would you go about it? Think about it, and then apply that same approach to yourself. If you are planning now to achieve certain changes in your life, don’t be afraid to seek assistance. Look to people you admire, perhaps they have done what you are trying to do. Ask them how they did it, what pitfalls to watch out for, about the disappointments that they encountered and how they overcame them. Even at the highest levels, advice can help.
After winning a number of PGA tour events, Nick Faldo, then an extremely gifted young professional golfer, approached the golf teacher David Leadbetter to ask him to help him develop a completely new swing that would stand up to the pressures of world-class golf and bring him major championships. It was a very brave thing to do – people thought he was crazy, committing professional suicide – but he had realised that if he was going to achieve his aim he had no choice, he embraced the change and set about rebuilding his swing. He went on to win three British Opens and three US Masters titles.
If you go through life vaguely hoping for the best but preparing for and expecting the worst, the worst is what you’ll get. If, on the other hand, you are determined to achieve the best, then it is up to you to give yourself every chance to do exactly that. Work out the plan you want to follow, open yourself up to possibilities, then become your own coach. I am sure that many people will gladly help you on your journey, but when you are ultimately responsible for supporting and encouraging yourself in the achievement of one goal, then you know you can do it again and again.
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Robin Sieger is a renowned keynote speaker, his company Sieger International is a training & personal development consultancy with offices in the UK and the US. Robin is the author of the international bestseller Natural Born Winners and the newly released You Can Change Your Life Any Time You Want. Both books are available from Amazon and all leading bookstores.
