Watch out for competitors when you‘re networking with executives and other decision-makers. They may try to lure you into the “restaurant gambit” (similar to the hotel and vacation gambit) in an attempt to show what an unsophisticated bumpkin you are.

The restaurant gambit is a way to determine people’s status, financial and cultural, by their knowledge of expensive and trendy restaurants. It can be used offensively to embarrass anyone who isn’t a sophisticated foodie. It goes something like this:

Competitor: We went to Fruit Cocktail last night. Have either of you been? (The faux British construction ending the sentence with been, instead of the American, been there, wins the competitor one point. A second point goes for knowing about Fruit Cocktail. You, of course, don’t even know it’s a restaurant and are about to say that the last thing you saw was The Lion King, when, mercifully, the executive speaks before you can embarrass yourself. This keeps you from being routed in the opening round. You do sense that you are being dragged into something involving high stakes, but you can’t put your finger on what it is, yet.)

Executive: We went the first time about three months ago. What did you think of it? (The executive shows his skill at the gambit by scoring three quick points with a single short sentence, one each for knowing of the restaurant first, for knowing it before it became trendy and for having been there more than once. Someone skilled at the gambit might also observe that he is laying a snare for the competitor. You aren’t consequential enough for him to worry about.)

Competitor: Oh, it was marvelous! And the wine list! We had a bottle of Resueou Garage for only $175! (Two points, one for the seemingly faultless pronunciation of the name and the other for showing that he’ll drop $175 on a bottle of wine. But he has also stepped squarely into the trap, which the executive now springs.)

Executive: We were a little disappointed. We had heard so much about the possum l’orange, but found it a bit gamey. (A point scored for daring to try the possum. Knowing the restaurant better, the exec’s opinion counts more than the competitor’s. The competitor loses a point for liking the restaurant more than he should. With the first two rounds complete, the exec and has a one-point lead over the competitor, while you are still stumbling around to understand what is going on. Whatever it is, it doesn’t feel good be so lost in the exec’s presence.)

Competitor: And it certainly doesn’t compare with the old Toto’s House, as they say it does. (Having just lost a point for saying that he liked a restaurant that the executive doesn’t, he suddenly realizes how crafty and skilled the executive is. He recovers quickly by showing his awareness of old Toto’s House. Seeking to displace his embarrassment at coming in second onto someone else and sensing that you are defenseless, he turns to you.) Which restaurants do you enjoy?

You: With two small children, we don’t get out much. China Joe’s has a great takeout menu. (You hope this will get a laugh, and the executive seems amused. Even so, you know you have had a thrashing and flee as soon as good manners allow.)

Does this sound familiar to you? If you were ever caught in a restaurant gambit, how did you handle it?



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Ford Harding is the president of Harding & Company, which trains professionals to win new clients. Rain Making – Attract New Clients No Matter What Your Field, a revised and updated edition of his bestselling book, was published in February 2008. His books are required reading for certification by the Society for Marketing Professional Services. His articles have appeared in Harvard Business Review, the Wall Street Journal, and elsewhere. Contact Ford and read his blog at www.hardingco.com.