Does anyone have any good tips for controlling stress?I'm having a really bad day and need a way to manage my stress level. I think I'm going to end up having a heart attack if it goes on like this for much longer.

Best way to manage stress is keep things in perspective. What is the worst that could happen in any given moment of your day? How terrible would it actually be?In between headhunting, posting on here and tearing my credit cards from the wife's tanned hands, I ride a motorcycle. On some occasions I really did think I was about to get killed by events out of my control. No point getting stressed about it, if it happens it happens.My father spent most of his life crucifying himself over money, or more precisely a lack of, that he became a short tempered, punitive, aggressive individual who lost sight of many important things. When he eventually lost his career through redundancy, he downshifted. Self created stress gone he is a different person, and much nicer all round.If you lose your job - as many more will before we get through this - see it as an opportunity not an end. Re-evaluate your prorities and ask youself if you really want this. If the stress makes you happy then great. But life is too short to waste on something you think is killing you. You may decide you want to teach, start a smallholding farm and live the Good Life, become a headhunter (God forbid!), or take Holy Orders in the clergy. Whatever.In 10 years no one will care what happened at work today, what any of us did, or what we didnt do.Lay of the coffee, try one of those tchai latte things - look dreadful and can't bring myself to try one yet but they sound nice and have less caffeine.Waffle on forums like I do. Occasionally say something constructive. Although perhaps not today.

Consider a therapist session. If you tell them you want to destress they can hypnotise you (it's not like in TV programmes, think of it as a controlled sleep) and set triggers that you can activate in your real life to relax you on demand.Didn't explain that too well but really works.

Mars and Derren, thank you both so much.It will be 6.00pm soon. At least then I can go home and have a little cry to get it out of the system. Maybe I'll feel different about it all in the morning. The problem will still be there, but at least I'll possibly be able to cope with it better.I don't think I'm depressed, I'm just under unbearable pressure at work right now and I really have enough on my plate already without all these extra demands I'm being put under (with no thanks or anything to offset it).Keeping it in perspective is good advice. I should be thinking how lucky I am for the good things that happen rather than letting things which, as Mars points out, will seem of no consequence in 10 years time dominate my life. But, it is easier said than done and right now think I'm scoring about 876 on the below list which is commonly used as a stress test.STRESSFULNESS 100 Death of spouse73 Divorce65 Marital separation63 Jail term63 Death of close family member (except spouse)53 Major personal injury or illness50 Marriage47 Being fired from work45 Marital reconciliation45 Retirement44 Change in health of family member (not self)40 Pregnancy39 'Bedroom' difficulties39 Gain of new family member39 Business readjustment38 Change in financial state37 Death of close friend36 Change to different occupation35 Change in number of arguments with spouse31 Mortgage over $40,00030 Foreclosure of mortgage or loan29 Change in responsibilities at work29 Son or daughter leaving home29 Trouble with in-laws28 Outstanding personal achievement26 Spouse begins or stops work26 Begin or end school25 Change in living conditions24 Change in personal habits (self or family)23 Trouble with boss20 Change in work hours or conditions20 Change in residence20 Change in schools19 Change in recreation19 Change in church activities18 Change in social activities17 Mortgage or loan less than $40,00016 Change in sleeping habits15 Change in number of family get-togethers13 Change in eating habits13 Vacation12 Christmas11 Minor violations of the law

I note the use of the word 'unbearable'. Anon if you are - and you seem to be - on the verge of an episode call in sick on Monday and take some time out, see your doctor.

Or just get leathered and attempt a random sexual encounter tonight!

Takeing some time off sick is a good idea.I simply cannot do it next week however because the problems I'm having will just escalate otherwise. I think I'm going to have to take a bit of time off before the end of the year to 'recover' as best I can from all of this.

* "taking"

Try St Johns Wort, it is quite calming.

Are you stressed cos you're a consultant, or cos you're applying to be one - or cos you're trying to work with one?

May sound cliched but talking helps. Talk to everyone: your client, your boss, the people who work for you, and anyone else relevant and make them aware of you being stressed and having too much pressure and work. Ask them to help you try to work out how to resolve this. I think you'll find most people are not really evil and will be happy to help.

I echo the last message about talking - it's really good to get the frustration out of your system - choose one person in the team that you think you can trust and go for lunch with them once a week - compare notes: they'll likely have their own stresses, but it helps immensely to share it with someone and get a different perspective.Go to to gym or do some kind of exercise - and then go home and drink a large glass of wine as a reward for a hard day!