In thread 60591, Mr Cool said "Sorry friend, but you cannot sober up by drinking more."I love phrases like this.Please share any more funny yet true phrases like this which would be useful to a consultant, whether in their work life or generally.Thanks.

'If six people tell you you're ill, lie down'That's actually froma n episode of Home and Away

and - not related to consulting but good nonetheless:Lady: 'Sir, If you were my husband I would poison you'Winston Churchill: 'Madam, if you were my wife, I'd let you'

You are what you eat. That must make me fast, cheap and easy

"Stupid is as stupid does"Best directed at PA partners when talking about memory sticks or T5 baggage handling or how to handle redundancies in a caring manner or any other of a whole host of situations

My soapMy sausageUp to me how hard I wash it

"another one"certainly qualifies as funny, but (other than the obvious) what the heck does it mean!?

UK Partner: "Well it seems as though client X can finally see the end of the tunnel".US Partner: "Well then champ, build more tunnel".

“It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt"- Mark TwainAll consultants should follow that mantra.

Well quoted Jack Sparrow. You just removed all my doubts.

You do not get a second chance to make first impression

"Talent is a gift that keeps on giving."A line I often use to motivate myself during those long, late nights.

"Wax on. Wax off."

Make poverty history... cheaper drugs now!

Here's a phrase which should be in certain consultants' vocabulary more often:"To all my friends and colleagues, I am ashamed and I am sorry."(Anil Kumar of McKinsey & Co.; U.S. District Court, Southern District of New York; January 7th 2010)

1. "We are consultants, not bricklayers" - When the client complains that the scope of work has not been completed2. "Think of your organisation as a large beast. We have given you a recipe (referring to the consulting output) to make and keep the beast healthy. But do not expect us to cook for the beast; that is something that you have to do - with your cooks." - When the client complains that the consultant is not implementing the solution

Excellent contribution Wealthy.industrialist! You have spent too much time in the company of MC’s – just the sort of nonsense so many of us come out with.Second example in particular. Instead of providing a simple analogy to a complex situation (surely the purpose of an analogy?) the words simply restate the rather tenuous position in a completely nonsense way. Just the right hint of a mixed metaphor as well.

Attention! Attention!The name of this thread it incorrect. 'Quote' refers to the verb 'to quote' and is incorrectly used as a noun in this horrendous titular faux pas. The correct title should be 'Quotations'Thank you and good day Sirs.Winnie

To Frank...close but the actual quote is: Lady Astor: Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.Winston Churchill: Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink itThis is also good:Lady Astor: Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!Winston Churchill:Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober

How about "Be yourself, everyone else is already taken" (oscar Wilde)Works really well at interviews as a retort when some dumb grad recruiter asks that sutpid question "have we seen the real you today?" (obviously this is better than saying, well who the **** did you think has been talking to you!)

Better still, in reponse to a request for 360 feedback one mail came back thus...Q: What further action would you recommend to improve the individual?A: Please consider sterilisation (anon)

"In every society some men are born to rule, and some to advise." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Learning is not enough. You must apply.

A nice little reminder..."Life is too important to be taken seriously" Oscar Wilde

'We have no money. We must think'.Attributed to Winston Churchill referencing the Africa campaign againt Rommell.

D'oh(Homer Simpson - an aspirational figure if ever there was one)

Zombie Economy is here - learn to love itWarren Buffet

"doveryai, no proveryai" (Russian for "Trust but verify") - Partner to Engagement Manager when the EM has outrage in his eyes at the Partner reading his (GBP 20k) expense sheet before signing it. Has to be said with simulated jocularity as the situation is delicate.

"Correlation does not mean causality" - EM to eager-to-please Associate when he (Associate) shows him (EM) some sexy analysis hoping to be lauded for it. The aim of this statement is to tell the Associate that his analysis does not justify the conclusion that he has reached. Can be said even without looking at the analysis as the sole aim is to deflate the Associate's ego. Often used caustically and with a been-there-done-that look and a careless shrug of the shoulders.

"Consulto, ergo sum" - Partner at client presentations, as a precursor to launching into his consulting experience. Very difficult to pull off for Principals or less-than-star partners. The speaker must have presence, good looks and a deep voice. It also helps if you tilt your head philosophically while uttering these words.

"That does meet the tests of logical consistency and empirical adequacy but fails that of experiential relevance" - Very Senior Partner in client presentations while dismissing a seemigly-good suggestion from one of the nay-sayers in the client team. Used when an idea makes eminent sense but the client CEO does not like it because he dislikes the person who gave it. Again, very difficult to pull off until you have star persona.