I was in the train the other day and every now 5mins some would fart a very stenching fart (you know that silent but deadly type!). I wasn't sure what to do as I battled with the odour. I didn't want to change seat lest people would think it was me. What would you do?

some = someone. Sorry for the error

I would move to another carriage.

Either1. Make a pointed remark into your phone (loudly) about flatulence on public transport being one of the main reasons for the decline of BR and the reluctance of the modern traveller to transition from the fragrant isolation of the car to the toxic and fetid miasma of the train carriage2. Slap him3. move to another carriage (but make sure you have a face of appalled disgust which shows it wasnt you)4. Wait 6 minutes then announce loudly that the next fart is 1 minute delayed, but expected shortly...in the spirit of public transport add the ding dong announcement noise if you want.

I wouldn't use the train :)

Enjoy it with the appreciation that it deserves. If you were letting these off you would wallow in the glory, so why not just inhale and appreciate art in action.

Compete. You know you can beat it.

Just be thankful you have never seen what I once saw on the train.I'll give you a clue - it was a Friday night and it was brown and about yay long sitting neatly on a seat in an empty carriage.

Sorry Dave, that was me.You know what its like; long week finally put to bed, a couple of liveners for the weekend and a little bit of a backlog due to jetlag and unrealistic deadlines.No toilet on the four-car and a man's back teeth were floating. What's a fella to do?

Just be grateful that the client pays for first class.....