Please does anybody have examples of outrageous things that clients have said to them.This could be a very funny thread!

"Who's this useless **** next to you?"

I want you to find out who wrote this piece of work, hunt them down and kill them.

"It should only take a couple of hours" (referring to carrying out a huge piece of work that ended up taking several months).

"If this project was a horse, it would be one of those racehorses lying on the floor screaming with a broken leg after promising so much but failing at the first wall and I would shoot it out of its misery"Suffice to say that it was over budget / heavily delayed etc the usual. He was a great guy though.

Engagement Manager: I have some good news on staffing; we've managed to prioritise this project above some of the work we're doing at other banks, so Charlie will be able to stay on the team, after all.Bank Client: great - now we're stuck with that knob-jockey for another six months.

20%

Screw me silly.

[quote]Engagement Manager: I have some good news on staffing; we've managed to prioritise this project above some of the work we're doing at other banks, so Charlie will be able to stay on the team, after all.Bank Client: great - now we're stuck with that knob-jockey for another six months.[/quote]Knob-jockey is a fantastic phrase!

My last client, a business school, stated that they had no interest in making cost savings.

Obviously there were none to be made, with all those experts in house...

[quote]Obviously there were none to be made, with all those experts in house...[/quote]We once had a management consulting firm asking us to come and clean up their organisation and overhead. I doubt we were allowed to use their name as a promotional reference afterwards :)

Well, how am I supposed to get a discount? This is very unprofessional of you, forcing your customers to pay full price.

Not really outrageous, but shocking.When I was on a project in Central Asia, the client took me out for lunch (just me). He then made me a job offer. I kid you not! Needless to say, I was shocked!

It happened to me too. It's a sign you are doing a good job in their eyes... :D

[quote]Not really outrageous, but shocking.When I was on a project in Central Asia, the client took me out for lunch (just me). He then made me a job offer. I kid you not! Needless to say, I was shocked! [/quote]This can happen to you in Europe or the US as well, though less obviously.Once on a project where a large chunk of our team were contractors, the top client asked me whether I was a contractor. When I told him no, he said "oh then never mind... it's just that we're always looking for good people but if you're not a contractor, I can't ask you if you're interested".

A bit more background was probably needed.It was shocking 'cos the client hated my guts. LOL!

Camster, maybe he wanted the pleasure of firing you a month later?

You know what? That's what I thought. LOL!

The sad thing is, I know several clients who would do exactly that sort of thing. They wouldn't even do it consciously, it would be like a subconscious process driving them to it.