Glad to be back.

Fill us in on the gossip then. What happened and how did it all turn out? Please be as detailed and descriptive as you can.

Come on, I have been waiting over three hours for the detailed story!! This is not acceptable!! I want it NOW!I guess u r 2 busy workin restin & playin.;)

not to mention that tricky business of trying to divest chocoloate without jeopardising the integrity of the nougat infrastructure, a project usually complicated by environmental factors.

I thought I would revist this and update before Bushy Eyebrow Partner desicates my already fairly lean frame with a scathing (if very funny) rebuke for tardiness. The simple truth is I fell for the sell - not an uncommon mistake and one I presume many on here have suffered the consequences of. I joined a company which wanted to utilise my experience in senior talent search, my relationships, and subject matter knowledge (such as it is, I'm not arrogant enough to call myself Expert on this forum). They assured me they had relationships with major banks, major consulting firms, ambitious growth plans supported by realistic projections of new business, a team to build etc etc etc. Reality was their 'relationships' largely consisted of being told to jog on by many of the organisations they purported to partner with, turnover was around 100% in the time I was there, their work almost entirely focused in junior hires, and their mentality one of being slaves to KPI reports which in fact were nothing more than a means to ensure a constant rotating door of raw graduates never really understood when or how they would ever make any bonus. Frankly I was glad to get out. As I began to relax in my local 'KFC', wondering where the Maitre D was and wht the wine list looked to consist almost entirely of suspect vegetable derivative liquids which in practice tasted surprisingly pleasant, I looked out over the estate, gestured to the help to stop improvising car maintenance through some manner of weight loss strategy of removing wheels (surely flawed as a plan but well intentioned I am sure) I could feel the weight of the world lift from pinstriped shoulders.

Ahh yes, KPIs that are intended for the sole purpose of preventing so-called bonuses being paid out. We all know THAT experience. I bet they would frequently revise the "scheme" too and have ambiguous definitions in it.And "partner relationships" that consist of little more than finding somebody's LinkedIn profile then googling their company switchboard to get through to them on the phone. Yes, "high flying city types" we are indeed.I do think sometimes that the plebs have it better. Cosy public sector job, final salary pension, flexi-time, always out of the office by 5.00 (if not earlier), ultimate in job security, etc. They have not a care in the world. The still go on about 5 holidays a year and get to enjoy the evenings. Plus, they never wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat because they've just realised they have a report due the following morning. They just pliod from day to day, sipping their mugs of coffee while pretending to "work" yet doing nothing worthwhile whatsoever, yet being able to continue in this more or less useless and unaccountable occupation because of the taxpayers. The life of a pleb... so under-rated these days.