Hi guysThough I'd post something to share a smile.I'm just about to re-enter management consulting after a few years in industry, and my dear industry colleagues are winding me up about going back over to 'the dark side'. They've sent me many management consulting jokes. Below are a couple. Anyone got others they want to share?Q: How many management consultants does it take to change a lightbulb?A: depends...whats your budget?A man (M) walks into a pet shop to buy a monkey. He sees one and asks the pet shop owner (O)M: How much is that monkey in the corner?O: ah - he's £120 sir.M: £120!!!! Thats a lot for a monkey.O: Ah but you see sir, this monkey can dance and play the piano.M: Wow! thats impressive. ok then - how much is that monkey over there?O: Sir that monkey is £400. M: £400!!! Why is he so expensive?!O: Well you see sir, that particular monkey can translate 13 different languages and can make cocktails.M: oh I see....that is pretty impressive. well...what about that monkey over there in the corner?O: sir that monkey is £4000.M: £4000??!!!! Why so expensive? What does he do?O: well sir....I havent seen him actually do anything...but he calls himself a consultant....

When in doubt, always remember the three golden rules of consulting.1. Never tell anyone everything you know.

A consultant walks into a bar. The bartender approaches him and says "I'm sorry sir, but you'll have to leave". "Why is that?" the consultant asks. "Because you're a two-faced, over-competitive tw@t and are spoiling the atmosphere by talking shop all the time", he retorts. The crowd goes wild with hysterics.

someguy and the remaining 2 you won't tell because as a consultant you holistically follow first rule!!good one!!

You know you have been a consultant too long when......Your valentine's cards have bullet points

three friends were drinking and chatting in a bar. One was a surgeon, one was a lawyer and the third was a management consultant. They were arguing over which was the oldest profession.Surgeon: well obviously medicine is the oldest profession. Remember the story of Adam and Eve - God created Eve by taking a rib from Adam. This is surgery - so medicine is the oldest profession.Lawyer: No No No. What about BEFORE that? God created the universe out of chaos. Creating order from chaos - that is law surely. Law is the oldest profession.Management Consultant: You've got it wrong guys....who do you think created the chaos?

More jokes please!Just4Giggles.